Words

By Brittney Wells

“Don’t Worry God will take care of it.” Those were the last words my grandfather ever spoke to me.

He had rushed across a parking lot after church that Sunday; gently wrapping his arms around me, he spoke those few words I so desperately needed to hear. My grandfather was offering me this assurance because I was facing one of the most frightening and challenging times in my life.

A few months prior to this last interaction with the man who was my lifelong hero, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer.

It was the beginning of a new year. I was 28 years old, full of life, wide eyed, and excited for my future. Ready to take on the world….and then my phone rang.

When things happen to you that seem to split life into a before and after, you never forget the exact moment. The exact place you were, every detail of the world moving around as you stand completely still. I was standing in the middle of Michael’s Craft Store when my cell phone started playing that signature Apple iPhone ringtone; you know the one. As I fumbled around in my over-sized, over-stuffed handbag to find it, little did I know that when I answered the call that was lighting up my smartphone screen, I would never be the same.

The voice on the other end of the phone line was my Gynecologist. A very kind, compassionate, and intelligent man who I now owe my life to. He was calling to tell me that what should have been a routine annual checkup revealed something neither of us had expected; I had cervical cancer. He continued to inform me that what he found was not just any cancer, but it was aggressive. Aggressive? What did that even mean?

I was frozen. I was crushed. I was completely numb.

My doctor went on to say that they had caught it early enough, so the likelihood that it had spread was slim to none. He suggested, in order to avoid chemo and radiation treatments or further growth, a hysterectomy as my best chance at beating this scary little monster that had taken up residence in my body. I had complete trust in his opinion, but the decision to have the surgery wasn’t so simple. I was 28 years old. I had a husband, and though we had been married for 6 years at the time, Travis and I did not have any children.

We have always been very open and honest with one another when it comes to both our personal wants, needs, and expectations from this journey through life together people call marriage. That being said, we had discussed the possibility of having children since we first wed. Prior to this reproductive ultimatum, we had already decided that we did not foresee ourselves becoming parents.

So Travis and I sat down with the doctors, and decided that the surgery was our best option. Right before the surgery I lost my grandfather. With all of the emotions I had already been feeling, it broke me. My confidence left me. The fear of him no longer in my life was raw and sickening. I didn’t tell anyone at the time, but I secretly thought to myself, “I can’t get through this surgery without him.” He had always been such a comfort to me in my life anytime I’d ever felt vulnerable, and now he wasn’t going to be there. I was scared before. Now I was terrified. But then I remembered his final words to me; providing me comfort and strength. Pushing me toward my faith and away from my fears.

Words are so powerful. They can change our lives, they can transform our souls. They can be the very foundation in which we build our hope upon. My grandfather always had a way with words. He’d use so few at times, but they would resound so deeply within my heart. I am so grateful for the last few words of wisdom he spoke to me. His words pulled me through.

I know I’m still young, and God willing I have many years of life ahead, and I’m sure so many lessons to learn…But there is one lesson, I know to be firmly true, I can share with you today. No matter what trial or challenge you are facing in this life, don’t worry, God will take care of it.