By Carolyn Phillips
Many of us have gone through trials in our life and all of us experience them similarly or in different ways. Each of us is uniquely individual with unique qualities. And yes, the wise saying of “time heals” really is true. Just be patient my friends as time really heals all wounds. Some faster, some slower but all take time. Your peace will come because God has a plan for you and everyone else on this earth, I promise.
So the beginning of my story starts with the death of my past husband David on August 19, 2017. We had a great 28 years together and I can truly say I have no regrets. Having no regrets or no “what ifs” really makes the healing process go smoother, if not faster. It is different for everyone. For me, I had a hard two weeks after his death. I cried off and on in private, cried in the car between errands, left the hose in the gas tank and yanked it off (I just put the hose back on top of gas dispenser, jeez!), cried myself to sleep, yelled at the rooms “why” and kept yelling and screaming for four to five times per week during those first two, hard weeks. Mind you, I am coming into a phase of having to do everything for myself. Prior to David’s passing, David bought all the groceries, cooked all the meals, paid all the bills and ran our company. What a superman! So imagine me, I didn’t have any of those skills when he passed. I basically started from ground zero.
At this time, I would like to thank my birthday gals group as well as all my Barton Creek Country Club girlfriends and last but not least, my best friend and my sister. For eight weeks following David’s death, they took care of me food-wise and support-wise. And many thanks for the white and red wine, champagne and prosecco that was brought along with the food.
Being the strong person I was, I picked myself up after just two weeks and changed my attitude. My past husband was no longer on this earth so time to get with the living. As my hairdresser said, “David is having a great time in heaven and he wouldn’t want you moping about him”. Wise woman.
So there you have it. The Grief Share classes at Life Austin church were helpful. Check into it if you wish. You will be welcomed with open arms and wise counsel. I am now in a relationship with a wonderful man I love dearly. Imagine how blessed I feel to have been able to find another true love in my life. All I can say is “God is great and God is good”.
In parting, to all my fellow iron butterflies, take heart for time will heal all wounds. The memories you have had with your special one will always be in your heart. And remember, your heart is big enough to allow others into it. Never give up!
Carolyn Phillips grew up in Port Arthur, Texas and has lived in Austin for 18 years. She’s been an active member of Barton Creek Country Club for 22 years. She has one sister who is 65 years old and lives in Houston although she is working in Boston. She has had one best friend since the second grade, which means they have celebrated 50 years of friendship. She supports the Center for Child Protection in Austin and the Salvation Army.